Awakening

Each day, it seems that I learn something new about myself and I realize who I am and who I want to be. Each day, it seems that I progress, whether I learn or do something positive or something negative, I am progressing regardless. 

I often ask myself, how is it that I am evolving into this person. What is influencing my ideology? I find that I am less persuaded by direct influences, but what has influenced me the most is looking out into the chaotic, repulsive society in which I live.

Recently, I have tried to separate myself from those that don't matter. I have cut myself off from those that mean nothing to me and those that inhibit my spiritual  (non-religious spirituality) and intellectual growth. I have no need for those that do not share the same motives in this life. I have no need for those who partake of absurd beliefs, hypocrites, religious zagnuts, racist individuals, etc. To simplify, I want nothing to do with those who are affiliated with any religious organization, those that I would term as redneck or racist and those that lack intellectual depth.

I went from nearly 100 "friends" on facebook to under 20 during this transition. Of those that were deleted: a lot I hated, some were true friends and others just existed. However, my life is going a certain direction and I just simply do not see the need to have contact with certain people. Most of those I left were close family, which will remain friends regardless of our differences and a few select friends. I do not plan on even checking my facebook but a few times a month in the future anyway because I want to cut way back on the control that technology has on my life, other than for school or work, of course. I would rather use my time in a more productive fashion like writing, drawing, etc. I will post blogs as often as possible though.

I have grown tired of seeing ignorant posts on social networking sites. People post thoughtless or childish chain letters and they feel the need to post 100 times a day and it grows annoying after sometime. You find yourself asking "why do I even have anything to do with these idiots?" I sound like an ass, but so be it. I hate stupid people. Some people would post things that looked as if 3rd graders had written them, come on! 

One individual had posted religious thread after religious thread and then up and posted something that used harsh, perverted language and being the opinionated person I am, I figured it was time to call people out on their stupidity. This person I remind you goes to a strict religious church and recently left his wife with no explanation and gets married to another woman 3 months later. He has two children and still goes to church. He has 50 cent on his favorite music section but the man has religious morals.... Hmmmm. So I called him out! I am sick of the hypocrisy of "Christians." If you talk it, you better walk it or I will call you out. If you don't talk it, then I don't give a fuck what you do. Anyway, I replied to this guy and ripped into him pretty good and I love how he had nothing to say in return. 

A few days prior to this he posted something along the lines of "people are like light bulbs, some of us let our INNER LIGHT shine and others are just a piece of glass." One person replied, "it's better to be a piece of glass than a dumb ass" and of course my response to this 300 lb man was.... " we are all like light bulbs, some are fat and odd shaped, but you can see right through them all."

I will not hold my tongue when people speak mindlessly of things that they know nothing about. We have brains for a reason, USE IT! Don't be led blindly by wolves in sheep clothing. Question everything. Research everything. Don't blindly follow what someone teaches, look into it for yourself. Know everyones motive. Pickup on others contradictory actions or statements. If someone claims to be a "Christian" and they do something that isn't Christian.... CALL THEM OUT!

This is the time for AWAKENING!

Goodbye Apathy

I first started this blog with the intentions of putting social networking to rest. I do not see the need to provide other individuals with information about what I am doing, where I am going or what I ate for dinner. We live in a technology controlled society and it has become a thorn in the side of Americas sanity. It has become cool to have the latest and greatest phones, computers and gadgets to use social networking sites and get the latest gossip and information about others. I have no need for such superficiality. I am through with the "buy me" age and having corporations shove new product after new product down my throat. I don't need a phone that does a thousand things. I refuse to pay thousands of dollars a year to a crooked phone company. I refuse to support and buy from corporations like Walmart that have destroyed Americas economy and local business market. I am happy to have an Ipad for school work and an occasional blog, but I am saying ENOUGH! Technology has destroyed the simplicity and beauty in life and I want it back!

I have more important things in my life to spend time on than some nonsensical social networking site with ignorant mindless individuals that cannot think for themselves or even spell for that matter. There are many people that I have no need for in my life. I choose only to hang around and communicate with those that aren't persuaded by ignorant trends and those that I can have an actual intelligent conversation with. I want to fully dedicate myself to my future and I shouldn't be wasting any of my precious time. I want to stay focused on changing my world and helping others through the medical field. Social Network sites accomplish absolutely nothing, unless you want to provide personal information to those who will most often use the information against you. Professors and employers have even begun searching their students and employees and not everyone needs to know your religious beliefs, personal hobbies, etc.

Sure, I have become quite the hippie and I am proud of that. I have an incredible little ecosystem in which I live and I do not want so much access to the outside corporate world. I have nothing in common with 90% of the people in this world and I honestly want nothing to do with those individuals. It doesn't take Einstein himself to know how messed up our world has become when you have celebrities as politicians and the majority of people actually support them. We have thousands of organized religions all with different beliefs and we have corporations and companies controlling us. Companies sell poisons like tobacco, drugs and alcohol knowing of their effects out of greed and monetary gain, but we are not innocent for buying them. We spend money on name brand clothing, expensive jewelry and shoes when families down the street have no clothes or shoes period. We could buy from thrift stores and not only be "green" but donate the extra to a cause. We shouldn't forget about those less fortunate than ourselves. We shouldn't esteem one race or culture over another, people are people no matter the color of their skin.   

We have lost our simplicity, our joy, our privacy and our beauty. We are one disgusting nation of mindless puppets. I may have high expectations for our world, but that doesn't mean that I give up hope or do not do my part in trying to make it better.

This blog is not aimed at any particular person, but this has come about from past frustrations of involving myself in a world in which I do not belong, nor do I want a part of. I assure that this blog is not about anyone in my family, in fact this has been coming for months now. I told April over three months ago that I planned on shutting down my social networks and that is why this blog was created in the first place. Hence the "Introduction" blog written on January 14th of this year which was very similar to this post. That should provide enough proof that this blog is not in direct response to anything that has been posted recently, etc.

The Hear Me Out blog will remain open and I will post blogs whenever time allows. I will no longer be wasting my time with checking social networking sites on a daily basis and Myspace and Facebook will both be shut down by the end of the week. I am very selective of those that I keep in my world and I do not want hypocritical, judgmental or ignorant individuals in my world. Why should I provide those people fuel through social networking sites? I see no need. I am an agnostic hippie, say what you will. I am not concerned with others say or others opinions of my beliefs or life. I am comfortable in my own skin and I love my life. I have an amazing wife and a beautiful daughter, a bright future, great ideas and morals. That's all that I need to know and I do not need the approval of any other individual regardless of who they are. I am thankful for this life and everything that has made me who I am today. Sure, I have fucked up and made mistakes. I have failed in my life. BUT I have never gave up and I never will. I am a long way today from who I was yesterday and that is enough for me.     

 

Be Extraordinary!

Sometimes, you are in the thick of life and you do not always see the big picture. You are focused so intently on the problems or goals of the day or you stay flustered with multiple responsibilities that you do not see the direction that you are headed.

I am sitting here at midnight wanting so badly to find the words that will accurately portray my thoughts. It always seems that my writings fail to capture my thoughts completely but I will try regardless.

For the past three months if not my whole college career, it seems that everyday is a race to get as much accomplished as quickly as possible. Everyday, you are focused in on the hundreds of things that need to be done and you prioritize these goals according to importance. This goes on from one day right into the next with no time to rest or gain composure. To survive you have to stay confident and focus on the positive. There is no time allotted for doubt. You have to block out your fears and keep your head down while plowing through each obstacle. If you allow your fears to grow roots, you will find yourself falling apart with no hope.

I have been so busy and I have been working so hard that I forget to just take a deep breath and live in the moment. I'm always anticipating the next struggle that I must conquer. Today, I had to stop and stand still for a moment. I had to look at my life from a distance and just be thankful.

I am at a good place in my life with a lot to look forward to. I have been blessed with great opportunities and abilities. I have an amazing wife that supports me and loves me for who I am and we have so much fun together. I have the most beautiful and unique daughter. Her laugh alone is enough to make me realize the beauty in life. 

I am grateful to be the person that I am today. My thankfulness even runs as deep as each and every idea that enters my mind. I am even thankful for my failures and mistakes for they have brought treasures through enlightenment and retrospect. Even the tiniest increment of time in my life has had an effect on who I am today. That is simply amazing.

I am thankful for my beliefs and the experiences that brought about my enlightenment. Yes, I am proud to be a liberal and a hippie. I am proud to be someone who takes a stand for their beliefs. I am thankful to have a mind of my own that is not influenced or silenced by those around me. 

I am thankful for the gift of music. Music may seem so unimportant to some, but I believe it to be one of the most powerful forces on this earth. Without music, our lives would be so bland and boring. 

I am thankful for the sun. Some people exalt invisible forces but I have found that the sun is most powerful, tangible and real thing that we experience. The sun controls our moods, gives us warmth and comfort. In the transition from the long overcast winter months, we are given a remarkable gift through the sun. A power that I find important enough to have displayed proudly and permanently on my skin.

I am thankful for all things natural. Water and trees. Love, beauty and peace. I am thankful for science and medicine. Intelligence and concept.

I am thankful for the chance that I have been given to change the world around me and make it a better place. 

I guess that I am saying, everything is important. I am thankful for all things. We have all been blessed with amazing lives. Do not live your life in anticipation of a second chance. Make this life count. Realize each day that you are given is a gift, NOT just a stepping stone towards the next. LIVE AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE! NOT AN EXTRA ORDINARY LIFE!         
 

A Lifetime of Music

Why waste money on psychotherapy when you can listen to the B Minor Mass?  ~Michael Torke

Ever watched a tearjerker without sound? No matter how powerful the imagery is, it’s usually the accompanying soundtrack that triggers the emotional response. Music's mysterious and latent effects can play a major role in influencing our hearts. Some believe music can heal. And it can even directly influence our intelligence.

I couldn't imagine life without the gift of music. I can think back on the events of my life and contrive a definitive soundtrack of songs and artists that inspired and enhanced the joy and pain that ensued.
When I was a baby, I listened to classical radio non-stop. I had to have "Wildcat Radio" playing to do anything and everything, even to sleep. As I grew a little older, I fell in love with the early to mid 90s pop and soft-rock tunes that flowed from my mothers radio.

"In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins
"I love you always forever" by Donna Lewis
"Am I wrong" by Love Spit Love
"One of Us" by Joan Osbourne
"Kokomo" by The Beach Boys
"Ill be Missing You" Puff Daddy
"As I lay me down" by Sophie B. Hawkins
Albums by Bryan Adams and Celine Dion

Next, I was introduced to Bruce Springsteen and Creedence Clearwater Revival while shooting pool with my dad. I remember finding something authentic about the occasional crackle from playing the Born in the USA album or the mysterious track Bad Moon Rising from the Green River album on an old record player. There was nothing like the first time I actually understood the meaning of My Hometown. I also gained my love for a few Eddie Rabbit tracks in those days.

Almost simultaneously I became enthralled with country artists, like: Kenny Chesney, Sons of the Desert, Steve Azar and The Great Divide. Since my discovery of Chesney, it was almost like I grew along with his music. I loved Chesney but I never realized that his music would hit a totally higher plain after the release of No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems. My love for the ocean grew, just as Chesney's style evolved. I remember being astounded by hearing Chesney cover Springsteens song One Step Up.
I remember hearing the complete Change album by Sons of the Desert at 1 am in the morning while listening to headphones. It was then that I realized the beauty of an album as a whole. The concession of the tracks and way the songs fit together so neatly intrigued my mind. Still today, I esteem change as a masterpiece.
Steve Azar's album Waitin' on Joe introduced me to the blues and the beauty of the Mississippi delta. I could travel to a whole different place and time when I played those tracks.

Springsteen changed my life once again with an album titled The Rising. Just after 9-11 the Boss released and album that displayed various religions and their outlook on the world. The Rising is by far in my top 3 favorite albums of all time. The timing of the album was too perfect. I finally understood the importance of politics and religion by listening to songs like Lonesome Day, Empty Sky and My City of Ruins.

Then I was introduced to Christian Rock, which i no longer acknowledge other than a few artists like: Jars of Clay, Switchfoot, Thousand Foot Krutch, John Reuben and Derek Webb. These artists had something that the bland, redundant majority didn't have: not just talent but creativity.
Jars of Clay had a diverse and unique sound that no other band had captured. They were truthful and honest in their lyrics. Jars of Clay always progressed with each release and blew minds in the process. Jars of Clay displayed such raw emotion through music that I had never seen before, that was until I heard Brand New.

Once Christian Rock died off, I had a longing for more substance lyrically. I went back to late 90s artists like Matchbox 20, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Alanis Morissette, Nirvana, and the Goo Goo Dolls. I asked myself many times, how did I miss out on such great artists? Whenever I had a bad day, I could listen to Matchbox CDs and feel less alone in my problems and Alanis taught me what it meant to be culturally and religiously tolerant. The Goo Goo Dolls displayed beauty and perfection through their song Iris. There is something unexplainable about the lyrics and emotion fused with violins in a soft rock tune: a pure masterpiece.

Once I ran out of great 90s tunes to look back on, I had to dig deep as the music industry had been filled with meaningless garbage. My music choices became more organic and stripped down, artists like: Jack Johnson, Tristan Prettyman, Brett Dennen and Jason Mraz offered sanity. Meanwhile, John Mayer also provided unbelievable guitar sounds. And The White Stripes were the most unique and mesmerizing band that I had ever come across.

Now days, My absolute favorite band is Brand New. In fact, I consider Brand New, Manchester Orchestra and Kevine Devine to be the Godhead of music. The chiefs of great songwriting and pure emotion. Kevin Devine has taught me what it means to be a liberal and how you must wear it and share it proudly in the midst of a blind world. Cage the Elephant, Bright Eyes, Iron and Wine, MGMT, Modest Mouse, Cat Stevens, Smoke City, and Wilco also deserve a mention. In today's music world, you have to dig deep to find true talent among the only 5 songs on rotation at your local radio stations. Rap music and autotune has murdered music and true talent (with an exception of rap geniuses Kanye West, Lil Wayne and Jay Z).

The other day, I stumbled across my favorite band Brand New covering Love Spit Love's "Am I Wrong?" and I remembered loving that song when I was a child. I had totally forgotten about the millions of times I heard that song played on my mothers favorite radio station. When I was 8 years old I didn't understand the song like I do today, but to hear my favorite band sing it was enlightening. It was like the music circle in my life had been connected from end to end. music seems to be so much bigger and more important than a lot of people give it credit.

The content of "Am I Wrong?" is very similar to a song that Manchester Orchestra just released titled "Simple Math." Both songs seem to correlate closely with my current questions of faith. That is what brought about this blog and I will leave you with the song "Am I Wrong?" as covered by Brand New.

Now, I encourage you to think back on your own life and create a playlist of those songs and artists that stamped your life.