What would you say?

Would you say that god is omnipotent? Would you say that god knows everything from start to finish? Beginning to end? Would you say that god knows everything before it happens? Is everything predetermined by god? Is there nothing that man can do to change gods plans? THEN WHY DO WE PRAY? If everything is predetermined and things are going to be carried out according to gods plans, then what good is prayer? Can pray change anything? And if prayer can change things, then it can only change that which god has already preplanned to be placed into action, therefore, prayer makes no sense regardless.

Who am I?

I was lying in bed, wondering, do people really understand who I am? And why I do the things that I do? It is really complex, I must say. Perhaps I should give a little more insight. People may think that I come off as arrogant or greedy or unthankful, not that it matters or that I care what others think. However, I am not arrogant, greedy or unthankful.

I am a fighter. I stand firmly in my beliefs. I am confident that I hold many crucial answers and ideas that can make a difference in this world. I am not superficial and I do not shy away from any subject. I do not fear.

I realize how blessed I am as a person. I have an amazing life and an amazing family. But it’s difficult to be in the place that I am in. It is hard for me to understand how I have been so blessed while others are in so much pain, destroyed by poverty and lack any chance of life and equality. I do not understand. It’s true that I want more, I will fight for more. Not because I myself want more, but because I want more for others. I suppose that I am a modern day Robin Hood. I do not understand how people sleep at night with excess, knowing that the world is full of people in need. I cannot comprehend how CEO’s, doctors, lawyers, politicians, athletes and so many others justify their wealth and power. What do they tell themselves? I do not understand the importance of a system that sets some up with power and control. I do not understand how those on top of the pyramid speak as religious saints, knowing of their own hypocrisy and lies. How do we justify materialism and slavery?

People even misunderstand my passion for nursing. I am not in nursing for the money. When you think about it, when it all is said and done, nurses are not “making-bank.” I am passionate towards nursing to make a difference in this world. I am a caring individual and I hate the thought that anyone on this planet has to live their life in excruciating pain that can easily be resolved. I will do all I can to provide for my family, but I also see the world outside.

People have asked me why I want to “jump from one fire into the next.” In relation to my leaving the corruption involved in corporations and going into another corrupt field of healthcare. First off, regardless of the cost, I see improving someone’s health or relieving someone’s pain a little more important than selling materialistic goods to people who can’t afford them and do not even need them. Second, health care is at a pivotal point. With socialized health care in the works, we have the opportunity to cut a large portion of fraud from the equation and we also have better chances of advancing medical technology and coming up with cures for major illnesses. I hope to be an individual that can make big things happen in the healthcare industry. I want to be the person who fights so that the health of an individual no longer depends upon the money in a person’s pocket. Everyone deserves healthcare.

I will vote on any given day for those who show compassion, I will vote for those who care, I will vote for those who want to save lives, I will vote for those who do not see an individual based on the color of their skin, their religion, their sexuality or social class. I will vote for those not controlled by greed. I will vote for those without hypocrisy or blind faith.

You can call me infidel, left-wing, liberal, hippie and socialist.

Or you can say I am anti-conformist, anti-capitalist, anti-racist, anti-war and anti-establishment.

That will suit me fine.

Let me also leave you with an interview of my new current hero... rap artist Immortal Technique. He is an intelligent person and I admire all that he does. I love how he isn't even signed to a label, yet he built and funds an orphanage in Kabul, Afganistan and he visits all over the world and helps in disasters.

What is just?

When a child is born with mental retardation or a terminal disease, is this due to a genetic (evolutionary) mishap or is it due to a mishap in God’s creation process? I am curious to hear Christians answer such a question.

 If we are made in the image of god, why are some created less fortunate than others? Or why didn’t a perfect god create a perfect world? Can you think of anything more narcissistic than creating something incomplete so that it has to rely upon and worship you?

So what essentially is Christianity? I found a great definition…

Christianity- The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove a force of evil from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree… yeah, makes perfect sense! Right?

It blows my mind that people become so offended if you do not believe in something that there is no evidence of. I have to laugh when people say that it isn’t as radical as it seems or when they discount the things of the old testament as being symbolic because they cannot even back up its absurdity but yet they cling on to the new testament. Well, a virgin birth, walking on water man of miracles is just as ridiculous as a talking snake or living inside a whale. Believing in Jesus would be no different than believing in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny or Big Foot. There is no proof of any of them. So, how is it that you know Jesus exists? What evidence do you have? What have you experienced that you are convinced god is real? If you believe you have had any contact with something beyond the realm, you are nuts!

Do Christians not understand that there are thousands of religions in which followers truly believe their own doctrine?  For example, how do Christians discount Islam? There is not more evidence for Christianity than Islam, so what makes Christianity right and Islam wrong? There’s just as many people that truly believe Muhammad is the true profit of god. Are they just less intelligent? The same goes for all religions and beliefs. The difference is that people cling to what they know. People are comfortable with what they are familiar with and this holds true for religion. Your religious views are based on where you are born and raised. Christians believe and fight for Jesus because they only have been taught of Jesus. Muslims cling to Mohammad because all they know is Mohammad.

Which brings me to my next point… Shouldn’t all people have the same chance at salvation? Then what about the 8 year old boy in china that gets hit by a bus before learning of Jesus? What about that 3 month old child that passes away? What about those infidels that are never taught about Jesus? Do the just automatically go to hell? Or do they get a free pass? How is god just?

If there is any god, it would not be a Christian god or a Muslim god, etc. What I’m trying to say is that the only way a man can be both intelligent and believe in god is if he is a deist. There have been many intelligent men throughout history, like our founding fathers who were either atheist or deist. What makes deism intelligent is that it doesn’t require evidence, like atheism doesn’t require evidence. Because deists realize that there are no miracles, there is no communication beyond reality. There is no doctrine of truth. In fact, deists believe in naturalism and reasoning. They didn’t believe in prayer and often they “worshipped the sun.” So what do you believe?

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians, Your Christians are so unlike your Christ" - Ghandi

Just a quick thought, how is it that conservative Christians are capitalists rather than socialists? Would Jesus be a CEO, politician or a millionaire? Would Jesus favor the power given to the few greedy men on top of the pyramid? Would Jesus play part in Wall Street? Would Jesus be materialistic and support corporations and technology abuse?

Or would Jesus want all humans to have an equal chance at healthcare? Did Jesus favor the poor? How did Jesus feel about greedy men? How did Jesus feel about compassionless men of power?

I find it interesting that businessmen, rich republicans, conservative Christians preach an American Dream that opposes the views of Jesus himself. I simply find this unbelievable. This proves how brainwashed our nation has become and how religion has been used as a tool by politicians and those on the top rung to manipulate and push their agendas. So tell me, what about capitalism is Christ-like?

Death

Death by Adam Kincaid

This is your last day; This is your last breath

Hearing voices; Deep within your head

Angels calling; Spirits dance around your bed

Demons begging you to pray; You are sure as dead

The fear is haunting; The fear is taunting

The end has been written on the palm of your hand

The black river starts flowing through your veins

You’re screaming internal as you drown in pain

Watching your body shake as you grip the fray

The dizzy room is spinning as you start to pray

The end is the beginning according to what you believe

But the end is still the end; No matter what you see

The Breakdown

A spiritual person is dying and they see supernatural things as they take their last breath. But dying isn’t a spiritual experience (there are no angels and demons) but death is a natural experience (on the palm of your hand/ the black river).  The last paragraph just says that you can believe what you want out of fear, but that doesn’t change the fact that no one knows what happens when they die.

This is the last writing I will pull from the "vault" from now. I remain shocked as I go back and read things I wrote years ago that I had the same outlook on life then as I do now. The only difference is that I was forced to mask my ideas then out of fear of judgement. Today, I just realize that there is no shame in knowledge and wisdom. To put it simply, I don't care what ignorant people think.

Frozen

Frozen by Adam Kincaid

Ice crystal sky; Smoke vapor breath

Frozen deep inside; Slow steady step

An empty sky high; Right above my head

Broken morning dawn; An internal death

The sun did not rise; With each step I climbed

My feet want to slip; Tossing pebbles from the cliff

As the wind cuts my lip; In a slow steady kiss

Hands hiding deep inside; In my pocket frozen fists

As I near the summit; A fire is just steps away

But as I stumble closer; The burning flame dissipates

Harsh is the mind; The illusion it creates

Captivating eye focus; On unobtainable fate

Destiny’s call echoes; Through the canyon below

Granting a false hope; Seducing to my soul

In the end it has destroyed me; Within it I placed my trust

Soon became my downfall; What once would lift me up

The battle of the mind; Became the fatal cut

Lying on the ground; Dying trying to get up

The Breakdown

This was written a few months after Collision in the Sky and my main goal was to expound on the idea of how religion lifts you up and tears you down in a cycle. The first half of the poem describes the journey of an individual that has recently given up his faith (empty sky high). The characters journey isn’t easy, but he is a fighter (frozen fists) and he is proving that religion isn’t needed to fight through hard times. He feels like giving up (my feet want to slip) but he remains courageous and continues on.

The second portion shows how the character begins forming ideas in his mind that something exists that can save him, something that seems so real, but isn’t even there. The character is being fooled by illusions of his mind and this false reality ultimately destroys him.

Collision in the Sky

Collision in the Sky by Adam Kincaid

Good Morning Sunrise; Peaceful is all nature

Weather controlling moods; Burning with desire

The Sun battles Luna for control of the sky

But Luna soon wins by seducing the Sun’s burning eye

She is a goddess dressed in silver

Screaming divinity is mine

Intercourse occurs in dawn and dusk’s mind

A sacred cosmic act when darkness and light collide

Mixing in brilliant colors; Constellations of the sky

I’ve seen the face of god; Bright in the light of the rising sun

I’ve seen a goddess; Dancing in the reflection of the moon

Birthing many stars; Forming constellations

An artistic painting; Of burning sensations

Search for the answers; Try to find the secret

Tell a self-consumed ear; Anything it wants to hear

Trust not what you feel; Or the comfort of a tear

The human mind slowly emits signals of fear

Let not immortality fade from your thought

Or frailty for that matter as well

A painted picture of heaven; But looks much more like hell

Draped outside it’s frame; A disaster makers tale

Don’t let it get you down; Beyond the shadow of a doubt

Make most of what you have; Someday time will soon run out

An hourglass running down; Sitting beside Buddha on your mantel

Search for wisdom in the trees; Kneel before your melting candle

If the sun is attracted to the earth; Drawing closely as a magnet

Creation will never know the truth; Creation can never tell

But if this were an occurance; We would all burn in hell

The Breakdown

I wrote this poem back in 2007 when I had made a decision that religion was not the answer to life’s questions, but rather nature had more comfort to offer. The first half of the poem describes the beauty of celestial bodies and tells of the enlightenment I had reached. I had found more solace in “worshipping” the tangible, visible power of the sun rather than the chaotic search for truth in religion. This was written nearly the same season of my life that I had a sun god tattooed across my shoulder.

The second portion of the poem discusses how I had decided to remain silent of my new conversion. I would have to continue to appease those in authority or the oppressors within the Christian faith to resist judgment. The poem leads into a discussion about how I would have to “keep my eyes open wide” and remain cautious of both good and evil.

The final paragraph of the poem discusses in confidence that the world will undoubtedly end but by natural means rather than religious causation. This also reminds that as time runs out, we should still search for wisdom and truth but by means of nature and science. Not that we will ever find definitive answers, but knowledge is essential to our species. Also note that the reference to Buddha is not in a negative sense, but rather that Buddhism offers useful wisdom and knowledge for us to live our lives by. Not as a god, but as a teacher.